i love nazreen

Sunday, April 18, 2010

i dun wish to blog about something i that i was pretty upset about,
something that made me cry real bad earlier in the day.

I was a type of person who
never liked make-up, blusher, mascara eyeshadow. you name it.
never likes dressing up
never left house without a pair of jeans and teeshirt.

Thats why god made one of the prettiest soul around to be my bestfriend.
no arguments in there.

What i learnt is First Impression is the crucial in everybody's life.
Throw away the comment that says" dun judge me, if you dunnoe me" for once it contradicts here.

I never really cared about pimples overcrowding in my face because in Year 1, i never had to encounter pimples, excluding those who appear monthly and disappear as soon as they appear.

But once i started training in the damn bloody hot sun, like everyday in year 2. pimple breakout! Omgod. i became more conscious of looks since then. BUT. i dint over do it lahhh.

LET ME TELL YOU THE CONCLUSION LATER ALRIGHT.

I am in chemical process technology. i have alot of path to choose once i graduate from poly with a dip. chemist, forensic scientist, drug dealing, perfume and cosmetic.

But until now, i have no complete idea what i wanna be once i graduate, with a dip at least. but i know i like chemistry. However, i dun want to work inside 4 walls. i never could. My previous work experience all involved sales, customer friendly characteristic, for a fact.

Today WE FINALLY MET and we went to changi airport, dine in popeyes

walked around changi aiport.
Aqilah was saying she wanna be air stewardess,
she has requirements, so why not.
they said that air stewardess must be pretty and tall.

I reached home, i check out the academic requirements.
I passed the academic requirements.
i read on further and realise its not that easy.
you have to try on the kebaya and they will pass only if you look like a "Singapore girl" in it.
wow.

I guess looks does play a big part.
For the second time in my whole i feel like this is something i would like to do, and have to work really hard for. ( Dun ask about my first, its going down the drain now :( )

REALLY HARD.

firstly i dun have looks. i have pimple outbreak. oh alhamdulilah, i already had my teeth done.
wanna see the difference.

I CANT BELIEVE I LOOK SO FUGLY LAST TIME. btw fugly stands for fucking ugly, oh please dun get use to my crude language i am trying my best not to use them.

No WONDER. No boy friend for 19 years :( teeth check, eyes check. No i am working on the pimples and fats area. and of cous my english. i cant do anything about my dark-coloured skin, its heredity i aint Micheal Jackson's decipher anyway. peace.

I likes travelling, i just aint reach enough to get on plane once a year. The only time i took a plane was to Australia.

I really hope to change myself. put my studies on a good use. and lessen my dad's burden in the future. I guess i have to stop being a spoilt brat which i have always been and started working on my own feet. yes be independent.

Whenever i wake up in the morning, i see My breakfast varying everyday, my filled-to-the-brim waterbottle, my lunch money, some snacks.

I cannot count myself to be more fortunate then this. I need to change. One more sad push that made me to this mindset was.. i really cant bring my mind to blog about this. its so embarrassing sad hurt. Everybody knows i love running. But i jus couldnt handle my ITP and training. i guess i wasnt so strong mentally during that period of time. and now this. What the hell can i improve with jus 2 days of training.

i jus told myself not to stand around weeping. i am gonna prove to everyone, i aint a fucking weeper and i am not going to give up. this is the first thing i initially wanted to work hard for. I believe one day this would come true.

I jus need to believe in myself more than i need people to believe in me. i really lack of selfesteem and confidence. i never had any of those. i was a pure coward.

today i laughed as much as i cried. Thanks to them!! But aziya and her boyfriend couldnt make it! only if they it. it would been more than perfect.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO UPLOAD THE PHOTO THAT WE ALL SMILED GENUINELY. OH WELL I NEVER HAD LUCK IN ANYTHING. forget it.

TAKE ALOOK AT OUR NS MEN! aziya's boyfriend is missing; he is in NS too. hahahahahah.

i really love them to bits!!!!! xoxo babies!! oh kaviin couldnt make it.

1) aqilah has been modelling for shoppaholicboutique.blogspot.com and also studiofrostfor suria artist Nurulaini.

2) shahril is an artist in suria channel inshyallah releasing his first album in december later this year.

Onething i dun rememeber: being so openminded about myself before in any of my blogpost. this is my first time. tell me if your comments are goona be constructive and not destructive. If i tried to change for everybody else, i would have 1000 multiple personality and dun think i woud be able to bear it. i would die. but i dun want to die early i wanna repay my family for what they have done.

YA ALLAH, PLEASE HELP ME.

PEACE.

Nazreen by @ at | 12:06 AM |

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